RSV: Mom guilt, boredom, and lots of snuggles!
- Shantae Bennett
- Dec 8, 2022
- 4 min read
My baby boy is in the hospital. In a bed hooked up to lots of monitors, oxygen, and an IV. I can’t hold him easily or play with him. He stares there helplessly at me as I stare back. It breaks my mama heart! I’ve said many prayers, his dad and papa gave him a priesthood blessing, and many people in my ward are praying for him. He has so much support, but physically there is not much any of us can do for him except hold his hand through it.
I am SO SO THANKFUL for modern medicine and doctors and nurses who can help him physically. They know what medicine to give, how much oxygen to put him on, tricks to get him to swallow Tylenol, and they can suck boogers out like champs! I have been supported by many people in the hospital making sure I AM OKAY. Not just my baby, but me. They know how hard it is on parents to have babies so sick. The people who donate time, toys, blankets, food and anything else truly do make a difference.
But, even with all of this help and support, my mama heart breaks. Nothing can take that away. I love this little guy so much! He is handling it like a champ. Babies are truly little pieces of heaven sent to us.
Let’s talk about mom guilt.
I feel guilty that there’s not much I can do for my baby and I feel guilty for not being there for my other two kids and husband. I feel guilty that I’m not keeping our house clean or cooking meals because I’m not home. Then I feel guilty that I feel guilty because I’m where I should be with my baby who is sick! It’s a never ending circle which makes me feel horrible!
Sitting cooped up in the hospital room with no fresh air, not much entertainment and no one adults to talk to can be very depressing. I’ve had to find ways to not spiral into depression. Here are a few of the ways I’ve done that and others can to if they find themselves in a similar situation (which I hope doesn't happen!)
Wash your face. You may not be able to take a full shower if you’re alone and your baby needs you close by, so wash your face. Get some cool water and let it refresh you. Once your baby is stable enough and napping, then take a nice shower!
Eat healthy! The hospital provides my meals and they have some delicious (but not the most gut friendly) options. When I eat healthier I feel better and happier!
ICE WATER!
Read a book
Blog (that’s what I’m doing right now!)
Plan. I love planning. It gets me excited and distracts me. I’ve finished planning Christmas and a birthday party. I might even plan our next vacation 😅
Don’t scroll on Amazon or you’ll find yourself spending money you shouldn’t
Limit social media time. You’ll see your friends on the beach having a great time and you’ll start to feel sorry for yourself. Just don’t do it.
Listen to an uplifting or entertaining podcast
Listen to an ebook
FaceTime family (FaceTime doesn't feel like enough. I miss my little ones at home and my hubby, but at least I can see their sweet faces and talk to them. My cute 2 year old daughter always takes the phone and sets it up so she can show me her dance moves. It sure brings a smile to my face! Also, Facetiming big brother and sister has really made my little guy happy. He loves to hear his siblings laughing and tlaking to him. It lights up his face and he even gives big smiles! And of course, he loves seeing daddy!)
Solitaire😅
Draw (on paper or iPad/tablet, doodles or masterpieces. Doesn’t matter, just let your hand move and distract your brain.)
Make your bed and organize your stuff as much as possible.
Open the blinds and let some sunshine in
And lastly and most importantly,
Snuggle your baby and try to enjoy this uninterrupted (minus the revolving door of nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapist, dietitians etc) time with him/her
It hasn't been an easy journey, but it has been one I’ve learned a lot on. I have learned to appreciate a lot more about modern medicine. I learned that I have to rely on those around me sometimes, and that is NOT A BAD THING, but it is hard. I learned that I have more people in my corner than I imagined. I learned that I have the most amazing husband ever and I miss him like crazy when I don't get to see him every few hours. I have learned to trust in my Heavenly Father’s plan for me. I have learned about the power of prayer, and receiving comfort from my savior, Jesus Christ.
Now, my baby was not and is not in terrible condition. He was very sick and it was terrifying, but to those mama’s who have been through or are going through worse, my prayers are with you!
Life changes, so enjoy the journey, even the hard parts!
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